Explain Anime Plot Badly

Fullmetal alchemist: Short guy mad at being short

Ouran high school host club: Pretty men and girl talk to girls

Neon Genesis Evangelion: High school student too preoccupied with his depression to notice alien invasion

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Petty-ass poor kid ruins everything, forever

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Black Lagoon: corporate drone refuses to embrace the quirks of his new coworkers and working conditions

Kill La Kill: Nudist colony gets fucking angry

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Cowboy Bebop: Space Cowboys

Trigun: Literal Space Cowboys

Macross: jpop kills

Gurren Lagann: Manliness brings hope and saves the universe

Bokurano: Summer camp turns into universal genocide.

Puella Magi Madoka Magica: turns out being a magical girl sucks ass

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Sword art online: always read the terms and conditions.

Tsuritama: Never go fishing with an alien or you will become a dancing zombie

Tokyo Ghoul: Guy finds hardest way possible to dye his hair

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Mob Psycho 100: Puberty is dangerous

Dragon ball: screaming and funky hair

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love live school idol festival: Idols will make you cry

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Hetalia: Schutzstaffel Aryans are really fucking cute.

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The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya: Teen girl with Aspergers’ Syndrome is literally God.

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Re:Zero: Guy dies a lot, comes back, dies a lot, comes back, dies a lo—

Code Geass: Mecha Hamlet with mind control and Social Darwinism.

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Berserk: One eyed man gets angry and hits things.

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Monster: Handsome blond man ruins everyone’s lives.

Naruto: Obnoxious little shit wants to become the best around but sucks at everything.

Inuyasha: Local high school girl did not let sleeping dogs lie. Must team up with mystical mutt to find broken jewelry.

Gantz: alienated teen loner deals with their depression by getting a gun and killing everything for sport, is rewarded for doing so 

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Gist of the North Star: MMA, Mad Max Edition

FLCL: Literally puberty

Even though she has the ability to cheat any game to do whatever she wants, Oreo still likes the challenge of beating things legitimately. She got so good at it, she had to impose handicaps on herself to keep things interesting. As for the bikini… well, everyone else was doing it.

-TB